His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?' The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question. As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open& zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's question about his'garage door.' He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my Jaguar parked in there?' She smiled and said,"No, I didn't. All I saw was an old tired minivan with two flat tires..."Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says:"Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'"Really!? Like a newborn baby!?" Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just pooped my pants."A senior citizen said to his. "Good afternoon, boys," I began, "I am Marie, and I am here to give lessons in, I suppose you could call it, Sex Education."This caused muttering and expectant looks from the boys. I walked across to the rack, seeing the boys' eyes widen as each step that I took displayed a stocking-clad leg and some bare thigh to them, not to mention the way that the gown gaped open very revealingly at the front. I wheeled the rack across the floor to a central position, then pulled the sheet away to reveal my helper."Let's start with the basics," I told them, "this is a girl. You can tell this because of the long hair and the bumps at the front." Laughter from the class. "How many have ever kissed a girl?" I asked, "and be truthful."Around ten hands went up out of the twenty boys in the class."Anyone been further than just a kiss?" I asked, "honest answers only, please."Only two hands were raised, one going down again as I looked him in the eyes. Only one was still raised."How far did you get?" I.
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